The top 5 leisure personalities on campus

University isn’t all about work, there’s some leisure time too and in order to make the most of your free time, you should really decide on an avatar (or personality). Think of it like Facebook – you want people to like you so pick your personality and roll with it. Remember to consider whether or not you might enjoy the activities associated with the personality that you pick!

Bar crawler: This personality is probably the most common. You will have to build up the impression that you spend your days crawling the city’s various taverns and bars, and have a remarkable ability to hold down your drink regardless the number of pints consumed. You will be the instant admiration of your peers. The one secret you must keep, is that the student union bar is one of the only places that you have ever consumed alcohol.

If you start to doubt your leisure personality just remind yourself that saying you’re hung over is just about the coolest thing that could come out of your mouth on a Sunday morning. Social power will be reaffirmed once you utter these golden words.

Sportsperson: Yea, ok, the bar person frequents the main hive of permissive glances and frolicking (the bar) but if you want to be a real success with the opposite sex, you should done your slacks and get into your trainers. Some physical activity is required and you might have to limit pizzas to 5 nights of the week, but it’s worth the pain. Besides, you might actually enjoy working out and meeting a few other bodies which are as mildly chiselled as your own.

The intellectual: The intellectual, is often found in the library or his dorm room. In fact, they are most consistently to be found in their dorm room on Fridays 2300. They will also, more than likely, speak in third person.

This is a tough leisure personality to pull off, and comes with an added warning: YOU MIGHT NEED TO DO SOME READING!

Corridor stalker: Never in a lecture hall, always in a conversation with someone in the corridor; usually with one leg bent and foot planted against the wall. This leisure activity requires that you become one with the corridor (to the point of leaning on it at all times) and having the disposition and smile to strike up a quick conversation, despite the obvious rush of your fellow students to get to lectures. You must learn to procrastinate to the extreme!

You will rarely go to lectures and have to be so present in the corridor that people expect to see you as they exit their room. Your popularity will depend on your being accepted as a permanent daily feature of dormitory life.

Disclaimer: corridor stalking has nothing to do with harassing the opposite sex.

The ghost:  This leisure personality is a bit of a paradox because you are, in essence, trying to convince people that you don’t exist. You will not frequent bars, you will not do sports (!), you will not go to lectures (!!), and you will certainly not stop to talk to people in the corridor (mainly because you will move around at night).

For this you will need a Playstation, something to smoke and maybe one other partner in crime (if you have two control pads).

Health warning: make sure mum and dad are paying the tuition fee. 

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